The Pocket Predicament: Why Brands Think Women Don't Need Functional Pockets

March 9, 2025

It's 2025, and the fashion industry still hasn't figured out that women need functional pockets. As I stand in front of the mirror, trying on yet another pair of jeans that promises the illusion of pockets but delivers nothing more than a sad, decorative flap, I can't help but wonder: why do brands assume we don't need to carry our stuff?

I mean, come on, we're not just walking handbags, are we? We have phones, keys, lip gloss, and the occasional small dog to lug around. But apparently, the fashion gods have decreed that our thighs must remain unencumbered by the burden of practical storage.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "But Samantha, can't you just carry a purse?" Well, yes, I could. But have you ever tried to juggle a purse, a coffee, and your car keys while also trying to open a door? It's a delicate dance that often ends with me spilling my latte all over my shirt (which, by the way, also has no pockets).

And let's not forget the age-old argument that pockets make our butts look big. Apparently, the fashion industry believes that women would rather have their entire lower half disappear into a void of fabric than risk the dreaded "pocket bulge." Because heaven forbid we actually look like we have a physical form.

But you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that men's clothing is practically overflowing with pockets. Seriously, have you seen the cargo shorts some dudes wear? They could fit a small child in those things. And yet, when it comes to women's fashion, it's like the designers are playing a cruel game of "how many pockets can we eliminate?"

I can just imagine the conversation in the boardroom:

"Okay, team, how can we make these jeans even more impractical for our female customers?" "I know! Let's get rid of the back pockets!" "Brilliant! And what about the front pockets?" "Hmm, let's make them so small that they can only fit a single breath mint." "Perfection! Now, let's add some useless zippers and call it a day."

It's enough to make a girl want to start her own clothing line, one where pockets are not only functional but also fashionable. Imagine a world where you could actually keep your phone in your pocket without it sliding out every time you sit down. A utopia where you could carry your keys without them poking you in the thigh. A promised land where you could stash your snacks without resorting to the dreaded bra pocket (because let's be real, that's just a disaster waiting to happen).

But alas, until that day comes, we'll just have to keep stuffing our belongings into our sports bras and hoping for the best. Because apparently, the fashion industry thinks we'd rather look like we're smuggling small rodents than actually have a place to put our stuff.

So, dear brands, I implore you: give us pockets. Give us deep, roomy pockets that can hold all of our essentials and then some. Let us experience the joy of sliding our hands into our jeans and feeling the comforting weight of our belongings. Because at the end of the day, we're not just pretty faces – we're practical, pocket-loving people who just want to carry our stuff without resorting to a fanny pack (or, heaven forbid, cargo shorts).

The Pocket Paradox

It's not like the fashion industry is completely oblivious to the pocket problem. In fact, they've tried to address it in the past, but their solutions have often fallen flat.

Take the "faux pocket" trend, for example. Designers would add the illusion of pockets to their garments, complete with stitching and buttons, but when you went to actually put your hand in, it was just a dead end. It's like they were taunting us, saying, "Look, we gave you pockets! But you can't use them. Haha, sucker!"

And then there's the "half pocket" – a pocket that's just big enough to fit your fingertips, but not your entire hand. It's like the fashion industry is playing a cruel game of "how much can we frustrate our customers?"

But perhaps the most egregious offender is the "decorative pocket." These are the pockets that are sewn shut, serving no purpose other than to make the garment look more "polished." It's like the designers are saying, "We know you need pockets, but we're just going to pretend they're not there. Enjoy!"

The Pocket Paradox: A Deeper Dive

Now, you might be wondering, "Why do brands do this? Surely they must realize that women want and need functional pockets." Well, my friends, the answer is a bit more complex than you might think.

It all comes down to the age-old battle between form and function. Designers are often so focused on creating a sleek, streamlined silhouette that they forget about the practical needs of their customers. They're more concerned with making the garment look "pretty" than making it actually useful.

And let's not forget the age-old myth that pockets make women's butts look bigger. Apparently, the fashion industry believes that we'd rather have our entire lower half disappear into a void of fabric than risk the dreaded "pocket bulge." Because heaven forbid we actually look like we have a physical form.

But the real kicker is that the fashion industry seems to think that women don't actually need to carry anything. We're just supposed to float around, looking effortlessly chic, with nothing more than a credit card and a tube of lip gloss. Because, you know, we're not real people with real-world needs – we're just living, breathing mannequins.

The Pocket Revolution

But fear not, my fellow pocket-deprived fashionistas, because the tide is starting to turn. More and more brands are recognizing the importance of functional pockets, and they're starting to incorporate them into their designs.

Take Everlane, for example. They've made a name for themselves by creating high-quality, ethically-sourced clothing that actually has pockets. And let's not forget about Girlfriend Collective, the sustainable activewear brand that's all about giving us the pockets we deserve.

And it's not just the smaller, more conscious brands that are getting in on the pocket revolution. Even some of the big-name designers are starting to catch on. Just last season, Prada debuted a line of dresses and skirts with roomy, usable pockets, and Gucci followed suit with their own pocket-friendly collection.

So, while the fashion industry may not have it all figured out just yet, there's definitely a glimmer of hope on the horizon. And who knows, maybe one day we'll live in a world where pockets are not only functional but also fashionable. A girl can dream, right?

The Pocket Manifesto

In the meantime, I'm taking matters into my own hands. I'm starting a Pocket Manifesto, a rallying cry for all the women out there who are tired of being treated like walking handbags.

Here's what it's going to say:

"We, the pocket-deprived women of the world, hereby declare our right to functional, fashionable pockets. We refuse to be relegated to the realm of the purse, forever doomed to juggle our belongings like circus performers.

We demand pockets that are deep, roomy, and capable of holding all of our essentials – from our phones and keys to our small dogs and emergency snacks. We want pockets that are not only practical but also stylish, pockets that make us feel empowered and confident.

No more faux pockets, no more half pockets, and certainly no more decorative pockets. We want pockets that actually work, pockets that allow us to move through the world with ease and grace.

So, dear fashion industry, hear our cry. Give us pockets, or give us death (by way of constantly misplacing our stuff). Because at the end of the day, we're not just pretty faces – we're practical, pocket-loving people who just want to carry our stuff without resorting to a fanny pack (or, heaven forbid, cargo shorts).

The pocket revolution starts now. Who's with me?"

The Pocket Pledge

And to all my fellow pocket-loving fashionistas out there, I have a challenge for you: the Pocket Pledge.

Here's how it works:

The next time you go shopping, make a beeline for the pockets. Test them out, see if they're actually functional, and if they're not, put that garment back on the rack.
Spread the word. Share this blog post with your friends, family, and anyone else who will listen. The more people we can get on board with the pocket revolution, the better.
Support brands that are doing it right. Shout out the companies that are prioritizing functional pockets, and let them know that you appreciate their efforts.
Demand more. Write to your favorite brands, tell them that you want more pockets, and that you're willing to spend your hard-earned money on garments that actually meet your needs.
Get creative. If you can't find what you're looking for, consider sewing your own pockets onto your existing clothes. Or, you know, start your own pocket-centric clothing line. The world is your oyster (with pockets, of course).

So, who's with me? Let's show the fashion industry that we're not just pretty faces – we're practical, pocket-loving people who deserve to carry our stuff with ease and style.

The pocket revolution starts now. Let's do this.